Paul's Column: Things Change. Embrace It.

The Past

It’s been many years, really.

Since my first post and the very inception of Anfield Edition, 2 years and 3 months have gone by. A lot of the things are different than they used to be. Don’t believe me? Here’s a few:


  • Donald Trump was nothing but a jolly weirdo billionaire with a TV show and a stupid, impossible dream.
  • Some people still considered Adam Lallana to be ‘young’.
  • I used to be a jobless unfunny moron and now I actually have a job.
  • 30 million pounds for a player was seen as more than pity spare change.
  • Dabbing was only just kicking off. Seriously!

dabbing google trends

Anfield Edition – dabbing on these hoes together since 2016.

And now…Just now, in the fresh, lovely spring of 2018, Liverpool actually know how to defend. That’s a sentence many didn’t consider to ever be a thing. These days, conceding 2 against a relegated interim manager is seen as a scandal.

Back in the day, it was a norm that felt more natural than breathing for a human, swimming for a fish or booing for an Everton fan.

This is what I want to talk about in this lovely column of mine. Things change. And while these days our epitome of change is mostly about nuclear fallout happening this or next week, some of that change can actually be pretty good.

Fucked if we know, a month from now we may be actually be lifting the European Cup. At that moment, I guarantee you, at least for a second nothing else would really matter. So let’s see what’s actually changed – just so we can get a full view before it happens again.

nuclear explosion


The Changes

I’ve always said that the best #content comes from misery. Maybe it’s no surprise that I haven’t been posting much since Jurgen Klopp beat the shit out of Alberto Moreno after that Europa League final, which didn’t happen and I don’t remember. Now, when we’re decent, there’s nothing to do lukewarm jokes about.

Virgil Van Dijk has been a metaphorical testicle punch to the entire football banter community.

We have fullbacks for days and if you want to have a day off from work, I can pretty much guaran-fucking-tee Andy Robertson would be happy to cover for you. He’s a natural.

Hell, even Lovren is somewhat palatable – by comparison, Joel ‘New Messiah’ Matip doesn’t even look as good. Don’t make a mistake though. Matip is the same he used to be. It’s just us who got so much bloody better. These days you need to be more than okay to become a cult hero. And I think that’s bloody excellent.

Speaking of cult heroes…Remember how 4 years ago we were adamant no one is going to come even remotely close to a Luis Suarez season? And then, we got an actual King who shat on every record he’s set without biting anyone in the fucking neck? If you told that to me 2 years ago, I’d write a separate column just to tell you to eat shit and stop giving me hope.

Yet it’s true. It’s actually true and it’s happening in your lifetime. But enough of Ragnar Klavan.

Instead, let’s talk about what I’ve learned, personally. These things are happening and they are real. In a weird, twisted way, scrappy wins and defensive masterclasses are difficult to joke about.

Same way it’s not a story when a train arrives safely to its destination – but it’s on the news when the train slides off the rails and reenacts a Michael Bay film. Perhaps I should feel sad about the fact I’m not given enough hilarious storylines to nag about but in reality – I’m celebrating.

Start worrying when this column becomes weekly again. None of us want that. Up the fucking Reds.

So…What do we do now?

Well for starters, you crop that last sentence off and use it without context. That’s how media works these days and I’m super happy to comply.

Secondly, you be happy! Perhaps as Liverpool fans, we found comfort in misery. You know, just like you’re used to that weird smell in your room to the point you don’t really notice it.

dirty room

Personally, I think it’s the dead rat decomposing but I don’t really know which one of them exactly…

And really, it’s difficult to finally consider this the new normal. Celebrating top 4 is so 2017. Jurgen Klopp has done an incredible job getting us where we are with literally 3 midfielders. Despite that, we need to get our standards up. This is not a momentary thing, our progress here isn’t even defined by how we end this season. We have done great things on a relative shoestring – now, we have to expect more. Of course, don’t expect our opposition to do nothing either.

man utd man city summer


We can do this though. We can be this great and even better – constantly. Perhaps it’s time for us Liverpool fans to get angry at ‘only getting a draw’. Maybe, just maybe, this improvement isn’t a temporary glimpse until the harsh reality fists us back to the gutter. If so, this really is a new era.

This was our goddamn European starting lineup the time Anfield Edition was still only ‘in the works’.

liverpool xi 14:15

[source: -_-_-_-otalp-_-_-_- on reddit]

Compare to us know. We’re a whole different animal. Maybe this briliant change is for real. So if we complain hard enough that being “only 4th” is bad, perhaps we’ll find ourselves a new comfort zone. Then, only nothing but world domination will be acceptable.

Let us be happy with nothing but the best. We bloody deserve this.

I’ll drink to that.

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