Ratings vs Leicester


These player ratings would have come out sooner but I was a little preoccupied watching on loop Firmino’s first touch to bring that high ball down in the box.

Mignolet: 6

I was thinking he hasn’t done much wrong, barring his obligatory flap at a cross, and maybe it’d be harsh to drop him from the starting team then the camera cut to Karius with his new hair on the bench and now I can’t remember what I was going to write.

Clyne: 7

Didn’t have much to do but as our only full back with a functioning brain I’m obliged to give him nothing lower than a 7. I don’t make the rules.

Lucas: 10

Solid performance. Didn’t put a foot wrong all game. Good to see him adding assists to his game.

Matip: 8

I have my reservations about Matip. I’m ready to give him time but I just don’t think he has the necessary lapses of concentration or error proneness to be a Liverpool centre back.

Milner: 7

Did everything a left back should do or in other words what Moreno wouldn’t do.

Henderson: 7

Yeah Twitter will probably add that second half miss to their compilation videos in reality, *barricades doors and windows and retreats into bunker*, he had a boss game.

Wijnaldum: 6

That’s not his rating that’s the number of minutes he spent not smiling throughout the whole game. Pretty solid display but I’d still expect the German engineered perfection to replace him

Lallana: 8

We owe a lot to the person who sometime over summer went back in time, stepped on a bug and gave Lallana the ability to finish. Put in a performance that had the Nivea PR team producing noises similar to those Martin Tyler produces when United score.

Mané: 7.5

Somewhere Mario Götze is crying over his hairline while watching a vine of his World Cup winner on loop. Meanwhile, Mané is calma calma in front of a humongous Main Stand that has made extra terrestrial life aware of our existence. The difference. Heil Klopp.

Suarez: 9

Two sublime first touches to set up his two goals. Trademark “flash the six pack but remember you shouldn’t get booked for ripping off your shirt” celebration. Stop the Depay jokes. Seriously, he’s not fit to tie his man bun.

Sturridge: 7

Sublime link up play that made me check that this was really a stream of the game and not 13/14 highlights. Although since I’m still in this bunker can I whisper that he was a little wasteful?


Coutinho: Decent outing. Can be excused for any mistakes because he’d just backpacked round the Amazon rainforest.

Stewart: Not quite Dahoud but if you imagine a curly Afro hey it’s not that far off

Moreno: He played like a minute leave me alone I’m not writing anything here

Disclaimer – These ratings are views of Anfield Edition and not my own – Written by FourFourCou

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